Doin' more quotes than George Bush in the 70's

I'd like to start this one with an actual quote.
"Suicide - n. [sui, of oneself + cide] The intentional killing of oneself"
--Webster's Dictionary 

I believe the key word there is 'intentional'. If I accidentally walk off a 60 story building, it's not suicide. And I bring this up because of our quote today:

"Dave, I didn't think you'd have enough money left to make it to our family reunion, but you tightened your belt and came."
--Paul Carradine

SPOILER ALERT: This paragraph will either ruin the quotes below for you, or allow them to make sense)
If you're wondering, Dave Carradine was in to Autoerotic Asphyxiation. Translation: He like to be choked while jerking it. So, he used a perfectly nice belt to do the choking and - whoops -  He accidentally hanged himself in the middle of masturbating. So when we wrote it up on the board, the roman bathhouse of English teachers made us take it down. BUT WAIT! Not because it's about some grotesque pleasure one gets while spankin' it when being choked, but because he didn't want any suicide jokes a month after watching a suicide prevention show. We here at TUQS say "Bull shit, that's not a suicide joke, it's an autoerotic asphyxiation joke you fag." So in honor of David Carradine and his fetish, this one's for him, and all the chokers, masturbaters, and Kung Fu fans.

"Bro, don't leave me hangin'"
--D.C.

"eggs
belt
ham
a sock
a stool
cheese
Penthouse
milk
Bud Light
Blueberries
lotion
Olivia Newton-John cd
Plane ticket to Bankok"
--Dave Carradine's grocery list

"Of all the Gin joints in town, she had to walk into mine... And she came and went, just like David Carradine."
--Rick Blaine

"We used to have a dog and daddy would beat it with his belt. And then he'd beat the dog."
--Tom Carradine, son of D.C.

"I'm tellin' you Bro, a wet dreamsicle is so much better when she's chokin' you from behind."
--"The Situation"