We, the people of these United States, have taken it upon ourselves to misquote the greatest minds of our generations, we think they would appreciate it. And, if not, 'Fuck em' they've mostly been assassinated. Our "hetero" english teacher has taken it upon himself to act as dilligent censor to our daily obligation to this beautiful nation. So, Crockerdile...the ball is in your court...no pun intended. This list is not for small children, or the faint of heart, or small children without hearts...
"If this is an open bar, where are all the bitches?"
--Ernest Hemingway
"(waves hand)...Jackie, we had to get the convertible, this is a parade, how else could I feel the wi.."
--JFK
"You can put the saltiest nuts in your mouth to see who can keep 'em there without gargling or choking...if you're bored and hungry..."
--George Washington Carver (Use #32 of the peanut)
"You sir, did not call shotgun. I've had fives on this seat all day."
--Rosa Parks
"I have a dream...that I'm in my underwear in front of a large crowd and a gunman is chasing me down...it was terrifying"
--MLK
"I'll go 20,000 leagues under...ladies"
--Jules Verne
"I had a wet dreamsicle...all over her face last night. Fistpump!"
--"The Situation" (the forefather of awesome)
"I heard you're dating a black girl...you're welcome"
--Abe Lincoln
"There are three things one must always have handy: their wallet, their watch, and an extra belt."
--David Carradine
"My mind is telling me no, but this bed post is totally saying 'Go for it dude'....weird...'HEY, HOW OLD ARE YOU?'"
--Ted Bundy
"Dude... Don't be such a jew."
--Adolf Hitler
"Shut the fuck up Judas, nobody likes you."
--Jesus Christ
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