Live from the dreaded room of doom, it's wednesday morning. We have had a Top Gun infested day, and some of you would be horrified if you knew the true meaning of Top Gun. It's pretty straight. And I hope you read yesterday's blog for clarification on that last sentence. Anyway, it's about as straight as this picture. Now that you're horrified, and probably will be for life, let's be serious for a minute. I give great advice - to anybody who asks for it. But this wasn't always the case. It's like driving a stick: you're gonna stall out plenty of times before you master it, and I'd just like to share with you all the times that I messed up - I admit, I messed up royally a few times, but I'm here to share my experiences with you, so you can learn from my mistakes.
"I'm telling you bro, we'll make a killing investing in Enron."
"Honey, I think you should go into work tomorrow and then take off the 12th and 13th so we can have a 4 day weekend together. Maybe we can enjoy this beautiful September weather!"
"John, it would be so much more professional if you put the top down."
"Come on! Joining the Youth will be fun! It's not like you're ever gonna be the pope."
"Rick, I know this great Italian place just down the road..."
"It's called 'Hammer' on the street. Trust me Jimi, this stuff is great."
"The man isn't all that great! I'm telling you, just go ahead and trade George Ruth to the Yankees."
"You don't need shots to go to Africa!"
"Listen everyone, I know the country has been doing alright as of late, but Gore is just sooooo boring."
"Mr. Emperor, I heard about this great little place down a ways. The people tell me Waterloo is just beautiful at sunset."
"Ok, hear me out on this... what if we make a show just about Joey?"
"Ok, hear me out on this... what if we make a new Knightrider?"
"Ok, hear me out on this... what if we put Ben and Jen in a movie together?"
"Listen, your mom needs those 30 pieces of silver for her hospital bills..."
"Kevin, buddy, trust me it'll be a smash hit. If there are two things people love, it's a new world and water."
"To be fair Adolf, the Jews never let you play in any reindeer games"
"Yeah man, I don't think girls eating chocolate ice-cream out of a cup is risqué enough for this porn, time to kick it up a notch if you want teens to wank to this."
dear aides, I would like to thank you for the disturbing images. Keep up the good work on that. I am unaware if you al have made any atomic bomb jokes, but those would be nice. Thanks and I look forward to tomorrows quote!
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