"Mommy, where do quotes come from?"

YES anonymous student! We have heard your lack of calls, regardless, we are telepathic, and read your lack of thoughts. In the words of Young MC, 'you want it, you got it' (actual quote). Here at TUQS, we've been getting away from what makes us unique and what put us on the map. Well, the donkey shows too, but I really meant the fake quotes. And we've had several quotes recently rejected by Prof. 8... (see what we did there? HA! We're hilarious. But I'm sure the two people reading this knew that.).. even the quotes that had to do with sports, and to be honest, we were positive he wouldn't get those... Because he's gay. If you're in 4th period you might have seen a couple which were erased before the other kids could read em. We've had 5 quotes erased in 2 days, and Friday the door to his room was locked so we couldn't write a quote. Oh, and I figured out how to make my penis 9 inches. Fold it in half. Enjoy.

"Wait... You mean this isn't the Ride-Her cup?"
--Tiger Woods

"The State of my Union? Erect."
--Barack Obama

"I asked a lot of Jets fans if I would score tonight and they all said 'no'. Too bad I never take 'no' for an answer."
--Ben Roethlisberger

"Baby, you're doing it all wrong! If we're gonna go to the Motorhead concert you gotta head bang like THIS..."
--Virginia Lacrosse player George Hugueley (jokes are always funnier when you explain them)

"Forgive me father for I have sinned. I didn't say very nice things in my book, My panzer is double-parked, I stole a pack of gum at the convenience store, and... Yeah that's about it."
--Hitler

"We're gonna need a bigger boat. And preferably more sea men"
--From the movie 'Gay Jaws', which, well, I think the title is a good enough description

"#34) I never win at Monopoly
#87) My iTunes got deleted
#19) The Nets stink
#95) ED
#65) I wasn't as satisfied with Over The Hedge as I thought I'd be
#8) I can't find a good place that offers harmonica lessons
#71) Ate Ice Cream too fast, now I have brainfreeze
#55) I regret leaving my old rap group with my bff PB"
--Some of Jay-Z's other problems

"No no no! I wasn't selling my son to play football, I was selling him to fellate the highest bidder!"
--Pimp Cecil Newton

"The biggest problem facing America is the lack of jobs. Specifically, the lack of rim jobs."
--Barack Obama

"Ankles 4"
--Muslim Porn