State mottos

I've been dying to write daterape on the whiteboard for years. Anyway, the story behind that is that Max has been coming up with new state mottos for years, and I usually like to add my three cents in. Unfortunately all our ideas get shot down, (I'm telling you Delaware, you're missing out), so we were forced to just write em on the Board. Of course, writing daterape in the school equivalent of a public washroom is a tad bit controversial. So we were forced to erase it. And thank God. For a few minutes I thought Gaylord Crocker was goin' soft(er) on us with all our quotes being allowed. One last thing: When we started this, our intention besides sticking it in the man... Sorry, I mean fighting authority... and making lots more gay jokes was to make the world a better place. And quite frankly, the world would be an awesome place if every time you drove into a state you saw these mottos. Enjoy.

**NOTE: We had a little help with coming up with these. I'd like to thank Bryan and Costello amongst others for helping.**

"Arkansas: It's only date rape if you take her out to dinner first."

"Mississippi: Obesity is just a state of mind"

"Alabama: Where 1865 never happened"

"Georgia: The only good thing to ever come out of here were the Cherokee"

"Florida: America's penis. Where white Americans flee Miami to not feel so dirty."

"California: 32 million people; eleven real boobs. You've got glaucoma, so do we."

"Pennsylvania: Where George Bush thinks pencils come from"

"North Dakota: Now with Black people! If you get us confused with South Dakota, we don't blame you...we do too."

"Like chemistry sets and explosions? Then welcome to Tennessee!"

"Montana: You could cut the lack of sexual tension with a knife"

"Oklahoma: America's dumping grounds"

"Kansas: Really?"

"Florida: Life's endzone"

"Ever seen a grown man naked? Come to Vermont!"

"Maine: The most forgotten about state."

"New Jersey: You've obviously been tricked"

"New Jersey: being a drunken idiot is a citizen requirement."

"New Jersey: Snookie's vagina!"

"Massachusetts: Pretentious and douchey!? YES PLEASE!"

"Wisconsin: Come smell our dairy air"

"Alaska: #1 in drilling"

"Alaska: You should probably speak Russian, we've got a lot of moose."

"New Jersey: Where the turnpike goes both ways, just like our ex-governor"

"South Dakota: Mount Rushmore & other stuff too"

"Wyoming - also known as North Rectangle"

"Washington: Home of the scrawny sweater-vested, twenty something, faux-intellectual with a loathsome name like "Trent" or "Chance" who reviews Thai fusion cafes for a local free weekly and who shops at tiny mom-and-pop bookstores that sell nothing printed less than five years ago"

"Have your papers, and have a good time in Arizona"

"Arizona: We refuse to speak spainish!"

"Connecticut: the whitest place on Earth"

"Nebraska: One rape away from Arkansas"

"Come shovel snow in July in Maine!"

"Rhode Island: Almost a state."

"Welcome to Rhode Island! Now leaving Rhode Island!"

"South Carolina: Civil what?"

"North Dakota: Home of a famous guy... But more importantly where Fargo was set"

"Kansas: As seen in the boring parts of the Wizard of Oz"

"New York: We have other buildings too, you know"

"Idaho: Who says camouflage in public is tacky?"

"Texas: The ability to hold your liquor is the only tolerance we know"

"Ohio: Home of our great president, Rutherford B. Hayes"

"Florida: Where even babies are old"

"New Jersey: The only land happily donated by Indians"

"Welcome to Utah! ... Got a sister?"

"West Virginia: If we're all supposed to be married to our cousins, then what am I doing in bed with my sister?"

"Kansas: The Trucker state. All exits lead to Ice-Cream and Porn"

"Arkansas: The last 'S' is silent, just like our women"

"Maryland: America's Belgium"

"Maryland: We've got crabs!"

"Nebraska: A great place if you're butt-ugly"

"Louisiana: Not just obese... Morbidly obese!"

"Louisiana: Gurgle, gurgle..."

"Georgia: The state that George W. Bush thinks is named after him"

"West Virginia: Where toes are just a myth"

"Alaska: Celebrating 2 and a half weeks of relevance"

"Alabama: Coloreds use other state motto"

"Alabama for coloreds: I didn't steal this car."

AMERICA: Never forget, we have nothing better to do! We may be bored, but we're not a third world country!